Confidence With Women Blog

I’ve been saving this for the release of the VA Phone Game iPhone App, so now that it’s out I can share it here on the blog! This is just a sample of what we’ve got in the Articles section of the app – available for free in the app store now!

How to Get Her Number

So you’ve met a gorgeous, interesting woman. You’ve chatted for a while, you’ve shared some laughs, and you’ve gotten to know each other a bit. Now it’s time to get her phone number and ideally set up a date (otherwise known as a “Day-2″ in the Pick-up community).

The average guy will just flat-out ask her to go on a date with him: “Would you like to go out with me sometime?” or “Can I buy you a coffee sometime?” Guys with less confidence will even ask her permission before asking her out on the date with something like: “Would it be okay if I asked you out for dinner/drinks/a movie sometime?” Worse yet, some guys will try to avoid rejection by asking the question indirectly with low-confidence lines like: “What would it take for you to go on a date with me?” or “what would you say if I asked you out one day?” This is not how you get a date. Even something as seemingly innocent as “Can I get your phone number?” lowers your value and makes it look like you are chasing her. When your game is tight, she will be chasing you. She should be asking for your number, she should WANT you to call her, she should be hoping the next day that she’ll hear from you. Think about it: if you have to beg her for her PHONE NUMBER now, do you really think she is going to want to go on a date with you in a few days?

If you don’t have girls asking you for your phone number, we have entire books, DVDS, seminars, and even one-on-one training that will teach you everything you need to know and more about how to become the guy that women chase. But for now, here are some great examples of how to get her number without begging for it:

Simple But Effective #-Closes

You: “you have such a great energy but I really have to go… How can we keep this conversation going?”

Babe: “yeah/I dunno/whatever”

You: “Well…do you have a mobile phone……or should I just use smoke signals?”
Babe: [doesn’t matter, as long as she actually has a phone or doesnt’ make an excuse about being out of minutes or something]
You: “Cool. Take my number down: ________ Ok now call it. Great.”

You:”It’s too bad I have to leave because I find you a little fascinating. How can we continue this at a better time?” Babe: “Yeah/I dunno/whatever” You: “Are you creative? Here, here’s a piece of paper. Write something creative. Use your imagination.”
[If she still doesn’t catch on]
You: “Think: digits, numbers.”

You: “You know what, for the same reason we both met, we both have to go right now. You have to go back to your friends, I have to go back to my friends. See if we both had no friends, we both could have hung out all night in our own loser posse. But we cant do that because you have to go to your friends and I have to go to my friends. You know what? Do you have a phone on you? Okay, punch this in _______. Ok call it. Ok, I’ll give you a call later. Ok awesome. Go back to your friends.”
(I think this one came from TD)

You: “you know you’re first impression was kind of so-so, but now that I get to know you, you’re pretty fucking interesting. I would love to get to know you more. [pull out your phone and hand it to her] Here… name and number please…”

Note that in the last one, I’m not asking for her number, but rather telling her to give it to me. This slight difference in wording changes the subtext entirely. Instead of you begging for her to do something (which shows uncertainty and a lack of confidence), you are telling her to do it. Not in a COMMANDING way mind you, just in a confident way that conveys that it never occurred to you that she wouldn’t give it to you. We’re not trying to convince or trick a woman into giving us their number – we’re just trying to avoid sounding like the average chump who begs for it. She’s used to guys like that all the time, and the last thing we want is to get lumped in with them.

Seeding A Day-2
Of course, a phone number doesn’t mean much if she has no reason to want to see you again, or at the very least want to talk to you on the phone again. The best way to ensure that you’ll see her again is to seed a future activity earlier in the conversation. This could be some upcoming event you can go hang out at (see the next section) or even an item from your bucket list. When you talk about it, don’t invite her out to it yet. Just be excited about it and talk about how cool/interesting/nerve-wracking/etc it’s going to be. Then, when it comes time for the number close, tell her:

You: “Listen, you should come to [whatever the activity is], bring your friends too.”

Then pull out a pen and a business card (this could also be someone else’s business card) or a piece of paper. Rip it in half and hand her the pen and half of the paper/card. If she asks what it is for, tell her: “Use your imagination.” When she hands you back the pen, write down your name and number and give it to her as well (I think this close originally came from Style). Then talk briefly about how interesting the event is and stack forward to another routine. DO NOT JUST GET THE NUMBER AND LEAVE LIKE IT’S A GOD DAMN PRIZE. Stay for a few minutes and continue the conversation. Get to know her a little more and THEN go and brag to all your friends.

Also, if I haven’t had much time to build a connection and she needs to leave, I will sometimes opt for a humor spike after getting her number. I personally love Style’s bit that goes: “here write down your name, number, and a little sketch of yourself so I remember what you look like.” I now have about a hundred scraps of paper with funny little cartoon faces on them. I think I’m going to put them in a frame, hang it in my apartment, and call it “art”.

Facebook or Email?
Sometimes, a woman would rather give you their Facebook, email, Skype, or (in some rare cases) their Twitter names instead of exchanging numbers. In most situations, this is a good indicator that she either isn’t attracted or you haven’t build enough of a connection. Girls like to give away their email and Facebook because it’s far easier to screen, ignore, or even block creepy guys who try to contact them. Unless something outlandish has happened like her phone was lost, broken, or disconnected, then you should interpret an attempt to avoid giving you her phone number as an Indicator of Disinterest. If she doesn’t feel interested or comfortable enough to give you her number, you have either gone for the close way too early, or there is a hole in your game somewhere.

In this situation, your best bet is to playfully neg her with something like “Haha there is no way I’m adding you to Facebook. You’ll just creep my pictures and all the girls who post on my wall” (almost every girl does this when they are interested in a guy). Then stack into another DHV story to build some attraction/interest before trying for the number again.

Alternatively, if you do get the Facebook offer, LuckyD has a great way of turning it around into a number close:

Facebook Reversal Number Close by LuckyD
If you ask for her Facebook, or she offers hers you can take out your phone to write down her name (usually a note is ideal for this).

Pua: “OK name and I’ll add you”
HB: [she will say her name]
Pua: “I bet you there is loads of [say her name] on Facebook. Give me your Email address so I can find you Easier.”

At this stage pass her the phone so she has it in her hand to type in her email address. Once she starts typing she would find it a bit awkward to type in her email address specially if your phone has predicted texts, and even more so if she’s a little bit tipsy. Then say:

Pua: “I see that your struggling there you can just give me your number if you find it easier.”

Because she is struggling to, she will.

You Got Her Number – Now What?
Again, don’t just exit as soon as you get her number and over to high-five your friends. A phone number is not a prize. If the girl has no intention of answering your call or seeing you again then the number actually means nothing. So once you’ve got her number, stay and chat with her for a few minutes before you go. If you’ve seeded a future hangout, then you can talk about the details, add a future adventure projection, or just talk about how awesome it’s going to be. Either way you can run a comfort routine that lets her get to know you a little better and build a stronger connection. This will help her feel more comfortable about seeing you in the future.

If you don’t have it yet you should get the VA Phone Game app for iPhone. In addition to articles and examples for everything you could possibly want to know about phone game AND the library of fun text pebbles you can send to your sets, it allows you to keep track of each set you’ve #-closed, providing you with a place to jot down the things you’ve talked about and important details about each girl, including the details for your day-2 (or other possible Day-2 opportunities) if you’ve seeded one and even schedule a reminder for when you’re going to call or text her next! Pop open the Phone Game App and add her profile. Note down the things you’ve talked about and important details in their relevant fields. Use these fields to remember things you can talk about when you’re on the phone with her and later when you’re on a date with her. Don’t worry about having perfect punctuation and spelling, just jot down the information you want to make sure you remember in quick point form. Add the details for your day-2 if you seeded one (and you really should have!) and schedule a reminder for when you’re going to call or text her next.

Finally, if – for whatever reason – you did not get to give her your number, you can always text her towards the end of the night with something like:

Hey Lacey Bigguns, get home safely – Prophet (The Hair).

Hey babe, just realized I forgot to give you my number. I’m totally neglectful like that. – Prophet

Just a simple, non-needy message that conveys a little warmth, ensures she has your number and your name, and adds a little reminder of what you talked about. The basic formula is:

Hey [babe/nickname], get home safely – [name], [callback humor].

You can also use many of the Text Pebbles in the app or over in my series on Phone Game to text her about crazy things that may be happening after you’ve parted ways. My current favorite (which really happened to me) is:

Crazy lady on the street just told me her boyfriend wont let her hang meat on the wall for her art. Haha This is Prophet by the way.

This will usually get some sort of response, if it’s any sort of IOI, you can follow up with:

Yeah, then she said “You think thats crazy…” and I walked away because I knew I didnt want to hear the end of that sentence.

Happy sarging,

Prophet

Your family loves you. You’re fun at work. Everybody wants to hang out with you. You’ve got this personality that people like.

But for some reason, when you talk to women you become the world’s most boring man.

When you approach a woman, you always wonder what to do, what to say next, and how to get her to like you.

You’re constantly thinking, “Why can’t they like me like the guys at the office like me?”

You’re really actually good at talking to women you’re not attracted to.

No problem communicating with them, talking to them, actually flirting and having fun.

But, when it comes down to the real hot, sexy girl you want to meet, you become the world’s most boring man.

The reason why you’re doing this is because you’re talking to women like they’re aliens.

That’s right. You’re treating the hot ones different than the other ones.

Do you want to know a secret?

I talk to everybody the same.

Oh yeah, you heard me right. I talk to everybody the exact same way.

Here’s the deal.

Women–whether they’re pretty or not–all think they’re attractive. So, if you could talk to the ones that you don’t think are attractive, you could talk to the attractive ones.

Think for a second.

The women you spoke to today that you didn’t find attractive, when she woke up this morning, she didn’t say to herself, “God, I’m so ugly. I hope a guy can talk to me. I’m such an ugly girl. I really am. I’m ugly. I’m ugly. I’m ugly. ”

She doesn’t think that way at all. What she’s thinking is, “I’m hot. I look good. Guys are talking to me. ”

Here’s the deal, guys: if you have good communication skills, and you can talk to women you’re not attracted to, you could talk to the women you are attracted to just as easily.

It’s about getting out of your head. See, you’re a man that’s inside his head constantly. You’re constantly, mentally masturbating trying to figure everything out: how to talk to women, how to meet them, how to get the hot one.

You’re just not communicating. And, you’ve got to learn how to become a great communicator and overcome that fear–that fear that you have of talking to beautiful women.

It’s all in your head.

You’re a lot better at this thank you think you are.

Today I wanna talk a bit about using routines,
and how they can help your game.

I used to have a zillion routines memorized and it was still maybe, you know, four or five hours, but the flip side of that is guys who say, don’t use any routines, and the problem there is that most guys are not that good conversationalists to begin with, we are not that great at moving conversations forward, we are not that great at being interesting, we are not that great at creating
conversational material on the fly, we are not
that great at talking to strangers, you know.

Some of you may be but, you know, I definitely wasn’t, so it’s hard when you don’t know what to do specifically, to say, just go be yourself,
or be confident, or be interesting, or talk about
whatever you want, it doesn’t matter what you say.

While there is some truth to it that you can talk about a wide variety of things, there are some things that are pretty tough to recover from and there are some things that are just plain boring, and there are some things that are
kind of weird and creepy, so we want to be
able to have routines enhance our game.

We want to have them serve specific purposes, we want to have them used at the right time, and we want them to be used sparingly. Most of the time you’re going to use basic conversation
skills. Things like social comfort, things like
teasing, things like storytelling, stuff like that.

But you will want to sprinkle these in every now and then to serve some specific purposes and to really turbo-charge your game. In certain places, the right routine, when it really hits, can work
really, really well, but you’re going to need to
play around with it.

One thing you’re going to want to do, is you’re going to want range all of these routines, and
what that means is basically you’re just going
to need to try them in different places.

I’m going to tell you where to try each one of these in terms of an interaction and around a time mark, but you’re also going to need to just go out and try them, because everyone is going
to be different and everyone is going to have
some kind of different reactions with these things.

So listen to what I have to say, don’t try them too early or too late, but definitely play around with
where you can use these in an interaction, just
to see what happens, to get a better feel for them.

Think of these routines as tools more than, kind of, scripts. They are specific tools that you can find
the right place for them, which can be really,
really powerful.

Hope that helps,

JS – The King of Content

P.S. If you ever wanted to use some routines that can get you laid every single time, then this program “Seduction Roadmap” will do that for you and not only that, but teach how to
create your own, personal and powerful routines
to get you laid whenever you decide! Here’s your link

A recently released survey of 1,000 women aged 18-30 undertaken by Axe Bullet asked where men should go to meet women. Not surprisingly, bars didn’t make the top of the list (although 19% of respondents did say they’d met their last boyfriend in a bar). The runaway top choice? Coffee shops (53%), followed by bookstores (41%), the gym (40%) and the grocery store (35%). And 36% of the women participants said they wouldn’t hesitate to recommend attending a place of worship as a way to meet someone.

The survey also asked about men’s approaches, conversation starters and pickup lines, namely what worked and what didn’t. An overwhelming majority (63%) said they’d wished the man they’d “shared a flirty glance with” had initiated contact. And even more interestingly, these women stated that location (11%) and physical appearance (20%) were much less important to them than the gent’s style and approach (68%).

So how is a guy supposed to know a gal is interested or flirting with him? The ladies answered questions along these lines too. The top picks were eye contact and flirty smiles (69%), asking what he thought/for suggestions (37%), talking to his friends (26%) or casually asking what time it was (26%).

There you go gentleman: a primer on what women are looking for and how they are trying to get your attention. All that remains is for you to act on her come-hither body language; only 13% of the women who took part in the survey said the guys they were flirting with “got it”.